Instructions for building paper voidships

I have developed an elaborate and likely superstitious method for constructing the paper voidships featured in this blog. In the interest of spreading my madness I will now explain this method in excessive detail.

Step 1) Assemble Materials



You're going to need a decent pair of scissors and some glue. I personally use Elmer's Washable Clear School Glue because it was the first glue I saw when entering the store. You're probably going to want the washable glue because, let's face it, you're going to be smearing this stuff around with your fingers. Stop fooling yourself, there's no way you're going to be using a brush. So just get the washable stuff. Clear is also preferable.

Obviously you'll also need a printed sheet of miniatures. Here I have printed some Battlecruisers on light cardstock. The PCs in a Rogue Trader campaign I am currently running fly an Overlord-class Battlecruiser called Aetherius Aeternus, so I'm going to make a miniature for it. The cardstock is not strictly necessary, but it makes for a nicer and more durable miniature so I'm going to use it. Plus I bought an entire thing of this cardstock so I need to take every chance I can to use that shit up.

Step 2) Cut Along The Edge



Start by cutting out the miniature. First cut along the line shared by the miniature you want and the ones beside it. Be extra careful if you intend to build the entire sheet, but if you're only interested in one of the miniatures (as is the case with me) you can be more reckless. If you are only focusing on the one mini I suggest trying to cut so that the black line is entirely on the side of the mini you want to use. No matter what, however, try to cut along the line as precisely as possible.

Once the mini is separated from the others, cut along the rest of the exterior black lines until it looks like the bottom image. Do not cut the semicircles off of the ships, or cut the interior lines of the semicircles. Don't cut the line separating the two sides of the ship either.

Step 3) Prepare Yourself For Extreme Frustration

This next part is the hardest, most time consuming and the least likely to turn out 100% perfect. Prepare your mind for frustration. In order to help ease you into a state of relaxation conducive to this exercise, here is a cute puppy in the snow:



Step 4) Make A Valiant But Doomed Attempt To Line Up The Two Sides



Fold your newly cut miniature in half, along the interior line separating the two halves. Do not take this lightly. Make sure every part of the miniature is lined up, focusing primarily on the corners and the edge of the base. Once you are as certain as you're going to be that your mini is sufficiently lined up, make a long fold along the aforementioned line. Once it is folded, continue lining the sides up and making small adjustments to the fold until you get as close to an exact fit as possible. You'll be able to get it to work perfectly just often enough to taunt you into thinking you can do it every time.

Once you've wasted as much of your life doing that as you're going to, fold along the black line connecting the semicircles to the ship. When the ship is folded properly, the semicircles will form a circular base together.

Step 5) Use Far Too Much Glue



Glue the two halves together (but not the semicircles). Press the halves together, and wipe off any excess glue that comes out. The less excess glue that comes out, the better a job you did (unless it falls apart later, then you used too little). Make sure to run your fingers over it a few times to squish out all the excess glue.

You really don't need as much glue for this as you think you do. Mind you, if you don't use enough the whole thing will fall apart. Much more likely, however, is that you'll use too much and it'll warp. Personally I don't mind a small bit of warping, but if you're obsessive enough about this to be reading this rambling mess of an instruction manual then you care enough to at least try and use the right amount of glue.

Make sure you get glue all over, taking special care to ensure that the edges are well coated. Try to spread the glue as thin as you can over the entire surface area you are gluing, and use just enough to stick the two sides together.

Step 6) Press The Mini Under Some Books

One trick that will significantly reduce warping is to lay the finished miniature on a flat surface (a flat table, a book or even a VHS tape in it's case) and then stack other flat, heavy things on top of it. Leave the miniature like that overnight (or, if you're a crazy person like me, exactly three days) while the glue dries and hardens. Most of the warping occurs while the glue dries, and if the mini is pressed flat during this time it will usually stay flat much more reliably.

Don't squish the base at this time, leave it hanging out the edge and folded properly so it doesn't get flattened. If you're doing it properly, it should look like this:



As you can see, while Henry Kissinger may be a despicable war criminal, he's a first-rate glue flattener. RPG manuals would seem to be ideal for this, but please don't use them. You don't want glue on your nice books, especially not any of your Rogue Trader books. Those things are works of art.

Step 7) Pew! Pew pew!



And you're done. By now you should have a crooked and mangled paper miniature that looks nothing like my pictures. You probably skipped a step because you thought it was crazy, didn't you? The crazy steps are the most important ones.

You'll notice that the final picture is, in fact, not of the miniature I made by way of demonstration. That's because that one is spending the next three days being flattened under the crushing weight of Kissinger's verbosity. They all pretty much look the same and the camera quality isn't great, so just imagine one of them is the Overlord if it bothers you.

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